im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
