C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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