My cat gives me a boner
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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