Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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