I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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