I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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