I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
