If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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