Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow