More tranny stories later!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.