i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science