She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
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He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.