I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
