Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
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does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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