ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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