Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
