I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?