Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle