Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing

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(323): my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing http://tfl.nu/8j5t

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.

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(724): If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground. (724): Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday. http://tfl.nu/bc8e

Replies (140) Good night (2925) Bad night (576)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.

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(405): He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk. http://tfl.nu/iths

Replies (47) Good night (848) Bad night (3702) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.

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(215): i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are. http://tfl.nu/vh2p

Replies (85) Good night (1030) Bad night (6343)
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(214): View more from Texas

You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.

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(214): You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle. http://tfl.nu/y634

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

You got my ass fired just for knowing you

(479): View more from Arkansas

thanks for the bacon

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(479): You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment. (1-479): You got my ass fired just for knowing you (479): thanks for the bacon http://tfl.nu/zw0i

Replies (19) Good night (5409) Bad night (1198)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused

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(402): the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused http://tfl.nu/z0he

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

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(724): Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours. http://tfl.nu/4ug0

Replies (1) Good night (2193) Bad night (688)
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(916): View more from California

You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.

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(916): You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito. http://tfl.nu/1uk0

Replies (8) Good night (1994) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all

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(321): Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all http://tfl.nu/j4ja

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(716): View more from New York

The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.

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(716): The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man. http://tfl.nu/vdpw

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(804): View more from Virginia

No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?

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(804): No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail? http://tfl.nu/kg64

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(406): View more from Montana

Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.

(1-406): View more from Montana

I'm not even gonna ask.

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(406): Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you. (1-406): I'm not even gonna ask. http://tfl.nu/42tt

Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.

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(651): If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place. http://tfl.nu/osp0

Replies (13) Good night (642) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.

(970): View more from Colorado

Oooh, he sounds pretty classy

(720): View more from Colorado

Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.

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(720): We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini. (970): Oooh, he sounds pretty classy (720): Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died. http://tfl.nu/8k1p

Replies (7) Good night (832) Bad night (389)

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