he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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