My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize