dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
