This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
