She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
