dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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