Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
please don't ironically join a cult
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