Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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