He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
