Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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