I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize