Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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