Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize