he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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