I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
