two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
