handjob tips. give me some.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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