What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
