Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
sex in a hospital.. check
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
