Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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