Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
