K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My dick has a subreddit
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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