look no pants
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
