Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
