He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
