arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize