dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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