your room smells of hookers.
And success
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
