6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
