i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
