she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
