She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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