we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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