Girls should come with a carfax report
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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