I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
