I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize