she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
