so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
This house was built for laser tag.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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