I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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