Who did Billy Mays play for?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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